Sanity the Penguin

Crikey it's Hot!

2011-01-28T12:05:00.002+11:00

Australya was covered in heat
So high, that it cooked all the meat -
All the lamb and the pork,
The beef on one's fork;
And even poor old johnny's seat.

Two nights ago, it was so ridiculously hot that sleeping was out of the question. This is the result of that. I apologise profusely.

No Left Feet

2010-12-22T20:45:00.002+11:00

Chase the sun
as it descends,
tread lightly o'er
the threads of dusk.
Grasp hold the fleeing
trails of light
and open wide your eyes.

Strathfield Station, 11pm

2010-12-10T17:02:00.005+11:00

Fluorescent lights shine coldly
on warm red bricks,
contriving a twilight
where few wander
and fewer linger.

The purple air
clings to a row or two
of less than shiny
steel chairs.
Their transcience is palpable,
their design unwelcome
and begrudging.

An ashphalt gash
inflamed and bulging
scores a wound down the wall,
along the ground
and out of sight.

Time moves audibly,
yet blindly.

Poor neglected train station.

Sunshine, Lollipops and Moonshine

2010-12-09T21:43:00.005+11:00

When the moon begins to drop
and turn a pretty pink,
I'll call my Uncle Shanahan
and drown him in the sink.
He'll prob'ly start to yell at me
for making him quite dead,
So I will tie him to a chair
and hit him in the head.

Ridiculous and lame, I know. But good for breaking things up a little.

KL Airport

2010-12-09T21:30:00.003+11:00

This soul is silent,
a pre-dawn vista.

Silhouetted trees lay black against
deep blues and deeper greens.

Nothing moves.

A whispered stillness murmers,
hiding both
the creatures of the night
and the wonders of the dawn.

All as yet unmoved.

Yet Still Not Unexpected

2009-10-18T20:06:00.005+11:00

I am not the one who was,
I do not fit in these shoes
(They are too small,
they cramp my toes).
She isn't who I am,
But nor am I, it would appear.

They were the bearings on my compass,
Which still points North -
though I've proof of that no longer.

I am, it seems,
In actual fact.
But not.

De-Militarised Zone

2009-10-04T21:04:00.006+11:00

No man's land,
Eyes slide.
Perception bends around
that
which cannot be comprehended.
An anti-drug,
buzz-less.
A fluffy white cloud
In a missing sea of blue.
Drifting,
Ode-less.
Grief-less, tear-less,
No less disturbed.

Melbourne Airport

2009-10-01T17:39:00.004+10:00

Today's strange thought:
I wonder why
This person I have not talked to,
I do not know
Nor even know about
Is company.
I fear his leaving
Just a little.
Perhaps because he
Smiles to his book
And sits on the floor,
Despite his suit.

Tick

2009-05-29T13:45:00.003+10:00

Our time is fleeting,
I know it well.
And fleetly yet
It passes by,

Yet I possessing
A sum unknown,
Allow it, passively
to fly.

Sanity, the Penguin

2009-05-17T19:49:00.006+10:00

In rose-pink drops, the fragments fall.
The air itself is shattered,
The green-lit sky extends its arms
To those who've been discoloured.

Delusions of a half-crazed mind
Engulf these hands of speech.
Those drapes of blue have fallen too
In Ceremonial
Happy thoughts
of pleasantries
and offices
like matchsticks.

She thinks her brain has been encased
In ugly mouldy yellow.
Watch it grow.

I blame this on the drugs. Okay, so they're just antibiotics. But still.

Our Father, Who Art in Heaven

2009-05-06T23:03:00.003+10:00

This twilight
inconceivably awing.
My soul stretches
Yet still cannot accept it.
Beauty spread out on this canvas
before us, behind us,
around us, above us,
flowing ever beneath us.
Liquid elegance.
An enchantment so strong
that your name is inescapable.
Your glory is graven on our eyes.
Yet somehow, it is so simple...
We stand and try
to accommodate these marvels,
and our hearts tremble.
Suddenly, we understand the Israelites -
Awe-inspired fear of God
and their refusal to meet him
face to face.
Oh how small we are, Father.
How small,
and yet how loved.

I wonder why it is so easy to find words to express the lows, but so difficult to express the highs. My words are enough to cover the bad bits, but they are never sufficient, never beautiful enough for the good. It's a bit of a shame really, I want to remember the best bits far more than I want to remember the bad.
I can almost remember this day. Almost. But it was too much, and I can only remember what I could accommodate.

Lost

2009-01-29T16:31:00.002+11:00

There's
No rhythm in my head,
No words on my lips,
No flow from my fingers.

The
Sky is falling in,
This here is over there,
I'm standing on my head.

My
Ears are calling out,
My heart is standing still,
These words are falling dead.

Mindless

2009-01-22T16:20:00.004+11:00

I stare into space
and I let my mind travel.
It drifts with the clouds
and flows over the sea.
It rises and falls
changing with the horizon,
It disperses, it fades
and it draws back to me.

I stare at my hands
and I let my mind wander.
It ponders on this and it
expounds upon that.
It muses and wishes,
escapes from its bounds -
I grab it, I wrench it
And wrestle it back.

I stare at the roof
and I let my mind whisper.
It talks and it pleads
in the hope you might hear.
If fumbles and falters
and panics at shadows,
it races on forwards till
I snatch it back here.

I stare into darkness
and my mind cannot fathom
how, in the midst of confusion
You offer us light.

Eternity

2009-01-06T17:56:00.002+11:00

Diseased, scabbed and scarred,
Falling Apart.
You come.
You sit.
You touch my arm.
I look into the eyes
Of eternity.
You write it on my soul
And give me life.

Life as I Know It

2008-11-16T19:46:00.005+11:00

African music,
Thai sun,
Brazilian towel,
Australian soul.

French Friends,
Brittish brothers,
Russian sisters,
Australian soul.

German calling,
Irish dreams,
Australian memories,
Heaven-held soul.

I still have my Brazilian towel. It's bright yellow and orange, and HUGE. And it's still sad that "South African" has too many syllables to fit in this nicely. *sigh*.

Sane Conversation

2008-11-13T12:46:00.005+11:00

It is so tempting to put disclaimers on my scribbles. I'm scared people will 'read into' them. On the other hand, I want people to read into them. Suffice it to say that this one was written a good while ago, but continues to hold truth for me along the way.

Is this what love is Lord?
Maybe.
Love is a choice.

Am I allowed to choose this choice?
Of course.
I just have no right
to demand
anything in return.

Can I hope for it?
Why question
what cannot be avoided?

Should I push it?
No.

It is in your hands Lord.
Give me wisdom
to handle it well?

Early Morning, Filipino Waters

2008-11-12T11:12:00.002+11:00

The calming sea of sky
Drifts lazily over
As we slip beneath.
Caught within eternal arms.
Magnificent serenity pours down,
Whispering, murmuring rumours of
A love so vast
The universe could not contain
Nor even comprehend it.

And yet, here it is –
In drops of water so fine, so penetrating.

How can I but marvel, but wonder
At this mystery of the ages?
That I, a silly little girl
Can mean life and death
To You?

Sacred Ground

2008-10-18T21:39:00.001+11:00

Gold edges
Slow warmth
Rich colours
Low lights
Scattered murmurs
Strong coffee
Eager hearts
Cosy feet
Community in solitude
God with us

N.

2008-10-10T23:06:00.001+11:00

She sits so similarly
to someone I know.
I see her life
Mirrored in her form.
I recognise the thoughts
Behind her face.
The fears beneath the façade.
There is familiarity in her silence.
And in her speech.
She sits so similarly
To someone I know.
I wonder if she sees
The same.

Meaning

2008-10-04T11:23:00.000+10:00

Sit still and watch
As life races on
Dragging time through its wake
In its hurry to
Clean the windowsills.

Battlefield

2008-10-02T10:04:00.001+10:00

Shouts echo in multitudinous ears
Noise rains down
Detailing every shout, every cry
Dirt flies,
Covers every inch
Of parched, thirsty earth.
No rain, no rain today.
Grey helmets stretch
To eternity
And back
On featureless faceless plain
That still is starved of rain.
No, no rain today.
Futility shaded blue
So deep, so long
Embraces the faces
And hearts
Of such as these
Who long for rain.
No rain. No rain.
Night falls unnoticed,
Unseen.

Circles

2008-09-25T12:26:00.003+10:00

Fractured thinking
Ever moving
Certain lack of understanding
Feet just carry
All directions
Round in circles
Upside down.

Seeking blindly
Speaking mutely
Follow those who travel quickly
Sure to finish
Somewhere worthy
Sure to find
What can be found.

People coming,
People moving,
I still wonder where I’m going.
Hurry onwards,
Round in circles
Never knowing
Never asking
Lost all meaning
Searching, seeking
Blindly finding
Nothing, nothing…
Nothing, nothing,
Nothing.

Nothing.
How did I end here?

And So It Goes

2008-09-20T09:33:00.003+10:00

When I said goodbye
I naively thought that
I would be free from you.
No. That is a lie.

When I said goodbye
I hoped that it would
break my heart
And I would grieve -
I'd cry a little
or a lot
And then I would move on.

Yet.

Here I am
With the knowledge
that you're gone
But finding that
I have no pleasure
in relief
or in despair.
I ache a little
And think of you often.
Too often if you must know.

You are so strange -
I cannot comprehend you.
The way you think,
The way you feel.
I sometimes would pretend
that I could read you.
I liked to think I understood
Your thoughts, the way you acted.
But it was just a game, and
A game that I played poorly.

I wished you bad
But you were noble.
I wished you happy,
Content with all...
But you could never be.
I wished you loved me
Despite yourself.
But wishing was vain
and amounted to emptier times.

I am sorry
for my lack of trust.
I am sorry
for being wrong.
I am sorry
that I wished you different
And so sorry
that you're gone.

Snap

2008-09-18T13:36:00.000+10:00

Snap.
Here we go again.
I want to hide under a table.
What just happened?
I don’t know.
All begins to slow,

Slower…

Stop.

Music fails,
Words crumble.
Oh Lord, I need You now.

Fog

2008-09-17T20:45:00.002+10:00

You are
The fog.
Clouding my thinking,
Restricting my view
Obscuring
The depths of my future.
You are
The sun.
offering intensity,
Excitement, life…
And darkness
When you are gone.

You are
Complicated.
I wish you’d never leave this place-
You are
Confusion.
I wish you’d hurry up and go!

Why do I watch you?
You lift my hopes up far too high.
Why do you watch me?
You’ll dash them to the ground.
I just don’t know you,
Though you reside in my subconscious.
I just don’t get you,
Why do you care if I’m around?
Am I imagining
The things I want to see in you?
Are you really
Who you need to be?
Does it matter?
I don’t know what you’re thinking.
It doesn’t matter.
You’re not the one for me.

Rhythm

2008-09-08T17:00:00.001+10:00

Within my very soul,
A drum is beating
Raw, true.
It resounds so deeply
And echoes so far
That I unconsciously
Live out its beat
In everything I do.

Unknown

2008-09-05T11:05:00.002+10:00

Red lines scribble
And grey lines colour,
The blue has been covered
And the green has turned brown.
Dots start dancing
Dancing
Dancing
Obscurity clings to man-made chains.