Circles

Fractured thinking
Ever moving
Certain lack of understanding
Feet just carry
All directions
Round in circles
Upside down.

Seeking blindly
Speaking mutely
Follow those who travel quickly
Sure to finish
Somewhere worthy
Sure to find
What can be found.

People coming,
People moving,
I still wonder where I’m going.
Hurry onwards,
Round in circles
Never knowing
Never asking
Lost all meaning
Searching, seeking
Blindly finding
Nothing, nothing…
Nothing, nothing,
Nothing.

Nothing.
How did I end here?

And So It Goes

When I said goodbye
I naively thought that
I would be free from you.
No. That is a lie.

When I said goodbye
I hoped that it would
break my heart
And I would grieve -
I'd cry a little
    or a lot
And then I would move on.

Yet.

Here I am
With the knowledge
that you're gone
But finding that
I have no pleasure
in relief
    or in despair.
I ache a little
And think of you often.
Too often if you must know.

You are so strange -
I cannot comprehend you.
The way you think,
    The way you feel.
I sometimes would pretend
that I could read you.
I liked to think I understood
Your thoughts, the way you acted.
But it was just a game, and
A game that I played poorly.

I wished you bad
But you were noble.
I wished you happy,
Content with all...
But you could never be.
I wished you loved me
Despite yourself.
But wishing was vain
and amounted to emptier times.

I am sorry
    for my lack of trust.
I am sorry
    for being wrong.
I am sorry
    that I wished you different
And so sorry
    that you're gone.
   

Snap

Snap.
Here we go again.
I want to hide under a table.
What just happened?
I don’t know.
All begins to slow,

Slower…


Stop.



Music fails,
Words crumble.
Oh Lord, I need You now.
 

Fog

You are
The fog.
Clouding my thinking,
Restricting my view
Obscuring
The depths of my future.
You are
The sun.
offering intensity,
Excitement, life…
And darkness
When you are gone.

You are
Complicated.
I wish you’d never leave this place-
You are
Confusion.
I wish you’d hurry up and go!

Why do I watch you?
You lift my hopes up far too high.
Why do you watch me?
You’ll dash them to the ground.
I just don’t know you,
Though you reside in my subconscious.
I just don’t get you,
Why do you care if I’m around?
Am I imagining
The things I want to see in you?
Are you really
Who you need to be?
Does it matter?
I don’t know what you’re thinking.
It doesn’t matter.
You’re not the one for me.
 

Rhythm

Within my very soul,
A drum is beating
Raw, true.
It resounds so deeply
And echoes so far
That I unconsciously
Live out its beat
In everything I do.
 

Unknown

Red lines scribble
And grey lines colour,
The blue has been covered
And the green has turned brown.
Dots start dancing
                            Dancing
                                    Dancing
Obscurity clings to man-made chains.